February has been a month of reflecting and planning, prompted by a post-tenure review at work. Part fo the review is to look back over the past five years of teaching and scholarship. 

While putting together the dossier for the review is a bit of a hassle, I must admit the process has been both challenging and rewarding. At times I get so focussed on my immediate projects that I forget to both celebrate past accomplishments. So consider this a celebration. Here's a few of my favorite projects from the past five years. 

​1. Dunhuang Artist Residency. Summer 2016 and Summer 2017
I've written about this experience a few times on my blog, but it remains one of the most powerful artistic and cultural experiences in my life. I am incredibly thankful I was able to go twice and for all the people I met from both China and the US. And for the challenge of making a body of work in reaction to a new place and culture in the moment. That has really informed my art practice. 

2. American Craft Show: Baltimore 2020.
This is a show that I had long desired to be in. I made the wait list back in 1998, but never quite made it in several years of trying. After not applying for 20 years I decided to give it a go (I had a sabbatical which made it possible to attend) and was selected.  The show was February of 2020, so it was the last show I did before quarantine. 

3. Consider installation. Two-person show Bees: an exhibition with Craig Goodworth.  Calvin College, 2019
This was a wonderful show to be a part of. Not only was I able to show with Craig, but the exhibit was curated by friend and former colleague Brent Williams. For me the show represented the completion of Consider, which I feel was the most successful installation of the bee projects. 

4. Writing and Presenting at Conferences.
I am surprised to see how much writing and presenting I've done in the past few years. I wouldn't say either are my strong suit, but I'm interested in exploring these areas more. Most recently I was a keynote speaker at the CIVA conference in Austin and contributed to The Everlasting People by my brilliant friend Matt Milliner.  

5. Wait. Repeat. Two-person exhibition with Krista Brand. Wheaton College, 2021.
The exhibition was a delight on many levels. I was able to collaborate and exhibit with a former student of mine who is now both an amazing artist and professor. In the process I learned a lot that was helpful in  my own practice. Plus I used the deadline as motivation to complete a few works that had sat unfinished in the studio for years. 

​It’s been an up-and-down week, in an up-and-down month, in an up-and-down year. And we’re just getting started.
 
Anyone else feeling it?
 
In January, I fired some new work, both pottery and sculpture, and I was really excited about the results (see below). But when I entered the work into juried shows, it was rejected. (I guess it was more officially “not accepted,” but it felt more like “rejected.”) I started some new larger vessel forms, which at first were coming out great, but recently they are collapsing before I get them completed.
 
I feel like just as I start to get a little momentum, a roadblock appears. Perhaps I’ve had my expectations too high, or my ego was a little too inflated. Or maybe I’m just trying too hard. Perhaps it’s just the “yet-another-winter-in-the-middle-of-a-pandemic blahs.” Whatever it is, the experience has surprised me. I am having to fight the urge to throw up my hands and give in to the frustration.
 
I won’t do that, of course. I have had enough experience to know that rejection and frustration are part of the process, and that I need to step back, to see the bigger picture, and to focus on the long-term goals as opposed to the short-term obstacles. I also know that for me, the periods where I feel most unsure often signal the beginning of a period of growth.  Even so, I’m tired. I have been aware that many of my students have been on edge over the past year, but maybe I haven’t been quite as aware that I, too, am a little on edge. I probably need to slow down a little, do a little more self-care, and let a few things go.
 
So, yeah, if you are feeling any piece of that “up-and-down-ness” at the beginning of 2022 as well, know that you are not alone. I think we could all use a win, even a little one. Which has me thinking…
 
When does Spring start, again?